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*de rigeur mad-scientist laugh* [18 May 2004|11:51am]

[ mood | righteous ire ]

My plan is this.

I have developed a toxin deadly to Mary Sues but harmless to the average Joe. I've code-named it Lollipop-X.4, both for the sacharine sweetness of the Sues I despise and as a pun on Lollipop Guild/Munchkin. ("Munchkin", or "twink", is a term for a too-powerful character.)

Lollipop-X.4 works in several areas. It targets the protein effectors that regulate ocular colour-changing. It seeks out overtaxed scalp cells, such as might be seen with waist-length or longer hair. It also locks onto unnaturally high magical ability, as well as certain genetic markers proven to exist in the majority of Sues. Tests show Lollipop-X.4 is 99.2% effective in singling out Mary Sues - and more importantly, it never tests false positive, so powerful canon characters are completely safe.

All that remains is to administer the doses. This could be tricky to achieve, but I suggest that Legolas, Snape and various others be soaked in Lollipop-X.4 and then turned loose. Then all that remains is to sit back and watch the Sues drop like multi-coloured flies.

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Bad 'sue fics. [17 May 2004|05:12am]

I recently read a really, really, really bad mary-sue fic, and now I can't get it out of my mind! Added to that, I now have writer's block! If I keep on accidently stumbling on mary-sues like this, I'm afraid I might lose my ability to write good all together! Do you guys think that that may be what is happening? How can I stop it? Please! This is very important!
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I think... [17 May 2004|05:19pm]

[ mood | cheerful ]

My theory for the existance of Mary-Sues is the following: Alien invasion.
They're trying to dumb-down the fanbase for things like science fiction. It's fiendish, really--they're doing it by long-range FTL information transmission, since the journey itself is slow. They realized back in the Fifties that people who read science fiction and fantasy would be particularly able to detect their nearness, simply because they've bene reading and thinking so much about things that are a bit Other to us. So they decided that the best way to invade and take over would be to make it so that we'd never expect them, and they could come in slowly. They're doing this by tainting the pool of writing that new readers of science fiction and fantasy fanfic can access. This disgusts the readers, causing no small few of them to leave the fandom entirely out of shock. This cuts down the fanbase, which cuts down the number of people willing or even able to think about anything other than what they see everyday, which means that when the Others finally arrive here, in another thousand years or so, we're going to be in trouble. It's genetic manipulation through the obstruction of information! Controlled evolution. They're readying us for a hostile takeover.

That's what I think, anyway. In my head.

Damn Sues.

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My Conspiracy Theory [16 May 2004|06:36pm]

Okay, how's this for a conspiracy theory: Mary Sues are plants by the people who don't like fanfiction.

We know these people exist; they show up in fanficrants and on fandom_wank regularly. There are people out there who, because of a poor understanding of copyright law, a misguided sense of defensiveness about the canon, or just plain poopyheadedness, would like to see all fanfic gone.

Maybe... maybe they've organised. And they're working to destroy fandoms from the outside in. They write so many Mary Sues and badfics that fanfiction becomes 90% unreadable. Eventually, they hope, it'll die out.

We can see the shockingly effective results of this plan with a single glance at the FF.net Just In page.
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Mary-sues are invading my fandom! [16 May 2004|03:43pm]

Hi, my name is S. A. Bonasi, and I hate mary-sues. My main fandom, Yu-Gi-Oh, is over run with them!

And Kisara, that's the girl in my icon, keeps getting turned into a mary-sue in fan fictions. Does anyone know what I should do about this?
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